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May 28, 2013  | by: Jara Montez



Breathe in, breathe out. Tomorrow, the Bluths will be back. Beginning at 3:01 EST, Netflix will re-introduce the most bazaar attempt at a family. While Ron Howard highly advises not to binge watch all fifteen episodes, if you’re anything like me, seven years is entirely too long to not here any references to banana stands.

I’ve put together a list (by list I mean a handful, because there really is no way of being able to write them all down) of my favorite things about the show.




Egg, Plant, Bland, Plain, Yam, Her? etc. etc. Ann is only known as Ann to the loving and completely submissive, George Michael. He is the only one that believes she’s attractive, while the rest of the family, namely Gob, continually ask if she’s funny in order to make up for her bland appearance. George Michael also thinks she’s hilarious. She’s not. She’s really not.


Lucille is a royal **bleeeeep**

She is the worst mother on television history. Actually, that award goes to Angelica Pickles’ mother, Charlotte, but Lucille is a close runner-up. She doesn’t care about any of her children (yes, she’s gone on record saying that), she’s in a constant competition with the Lucille across the hall, she smothers her youngest son, Buster and has no regard for human life. She’s Godzilla. But a fabulously dressed one.


The Recurring Jokes

C’mon! Steve Holt! Never Nude. “NO TOUCHING”. Annyong. “Marry me!”.

This is a great time to mention that you can’t just kind of “hop in” during the fourth season without having at least some sort of background knowledge of the first three. If for nothing else, watch all of the episodes so you won’t be the only one questioning Tobias being “buy-curious”…

Check this link out for a complete list of all the running gags.

Les Cousins Dangereux

This is probably the only accepted storyline of an incestual relationship, but it works. When George Michael isn’t busy burning non-Christian music with Ann and her family, he’s dreaming of his cousin, Maeby. He spends 99% of his time attempting to quell his passion for her that is greater than a thousand burning suns. Not even a hyperbole.

It’s just really awkward. Not the incest, but good ol’ George Michael.



No Attempt At Normalcy

It takes a fairly jacked up group of people to make Michael look weird for trying to be normal. Did that make sense? Well it wasn’t supposed to, because the Bluth’s don’t make sense. You can try and make an argument for them being a functional, dysfunctional family, but they aren’t. There is absolutely no hope for them.

And that is perfectly alright.


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