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November 29, 2011  | by: Kyle Edwards

There’s no denying it: Perez Hilton is a genius.

With a negligible amount of charisma and a handful of Hollywood connections, the man transformed an online diary into a multimedia empire capable of generating millions of dollars in advertising revenue and sponsorship deals. Since 2004, back when a few Americans knew him for his blog PageSixSixSix.com, he’s been building his fan base and, more frequently, his bad reputation.

The blogger has a habit for taking things a little too far, once getting into an altercation with will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas. During the incident, Hilton, to the dismay of the gay community (and the confusion of everyone), called will.i.am an anti-gay slur, prompting violence from the band’s manager Polo Molina.

Hilton also caused controversy by leaking revealing photos of an underage Miley Cyrus. While these pictures could have landed the blogger in an enormous amount of trouble with the law, Perez seemed to escape the heat after the pictures turned out to be a hoax.

Despite all of his rage-inducing nonsense, it works. According to Alexa, PerezHilton.com is (as of Sunday) the 312th most visited website in the United States, and the 1017th most visited site in the world.

I want this guy back.

But suddenly and without warning, Perez Hilton was taken down. With a few words from the likes of Jennifer Aniston, his icy, Grinch-like heart was warmed with love. In just a few short months, he’s reinvented himself from the face-scribbling gossiper into a killer of kindness.

He’s also really, really boring.

After all of the negative criticism against him, I suppose it was too much to handle. Perhaps he couldn’t take what he was dishing out. But all of a sudden, Perez started getting all sugary with his former targets, congratulating them for completing their court-ordered community service or praising them for stuffing their baby in a turkey costume for Thanksgiving.

Readers don’t want that! We’re not interested in his spin-off sites appealing to the health-focused (FitPerez) or the animal lover (TeddyHilton). What was so fun about Perez Hilton’s blog was that it was dedicated to one thing: entertainment.

Sure we didn’t always like it. Sometimes the things he had to say made us want to rouse up the villagers with torches and pitchforks. Even in spite of that, it was entertaining. It didn’t just grovel at the feet of these over-privileged celebrities and worship the ground they walk on. It challenged us…I suppose what I’m trying to say is that I just miss him drawing penises on everyone’s faces.

What can I say? I’m a simple man.

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