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February 16, 2012  | by: Dania McDermott

Comedienne... TV star... president?

When news hit that self-proclaimed domestic goddess Roseanne Barr was taking very real steps towards running for president, it was met with expected cynicism: Her last notable attempt at publicly addressing the nation didn’t exactly bode well.

But unlike the slew of celebrities to dabble in politics before her, the comedienne-turned-sitcom-queen isn’t known for her irresistible charms or easygoing presence – the strength of Barr’s persona lies in her disregard for all things politically correct, a fact she makes imminently clear when lamenting the state of things on her blog:

“I’m tired of watching as men destroy the world. Everything used to be beautiful when women were in charge, and now I, working as the physical manifestation of the goddess Isis and the reincarnation of Cleopatra, have decided to save the world.”

These may be the idle ramblings of a self-important mad-woman, but Barr just may stand a chance. Running for the Green Party, she earned twenty-nine percent of the vote in a recent poll – enough to land her a (distant) second place position behind frontrunner Jill Stein.

Roseanne has a plan.

Still, Barr’s striving to remain focused on what matters most in her foray into politics plot for world domination. In a campaign announcement speech, the actress and comedienne outlines a three-step platform to help us get our collective shit together, which boils down to the following:

Step one: Make war illegal/legalize marijuana.

Step two: Change the demographics of government to include more women.

Step three: Outlaw bullshit.

“After the passage of this one law,” she contends, “the patriarchy will inevitably begin to crumble, as will the concept of war itself, which is largely a large load of bullshit.”

Oh, Roseanne. We remember your last dictatorship. It was funnier then.

Roseanne's first presidency.

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