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January 23, 2012  | by: Christopher Burns

The Kardashian Sisters

It seems that every few years a new star is born, and another Hollywood socialite is becoming a supernova. Pop culture staples such as Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton have inspired countless rumor blogs and fan clubs around the world. Many great historians are baffled by their meteoric rise from unknown white heiresses who’s best talent was drinking heavily, to becoming a part of most American’s everyday lexicon.  In light of this, I sat down and tried to crack the code; to devise a method by which anyone and everyone can become famous for being famous, no matter how talentless you may be.

3) Sex Tape

Paris Hilton's sex tape was leaked in 2004

The third rule of thumb is to put together a great sex tape. The American Public is going to make high demands on your privacy once you do become famous for being famous, so why not start sacrificing your most intimate moments right away? Kim Kardashian had one leaked in February 2007, and her celebrity status has only exploded since then. The daughter of OJ Simpson’s lawyer, Robert Kardashian, recorded the tape in 2004, and it did such a great job bringing her name into the limelight that she was just a little bad press away from having her own Barbie Doll released this year.

2) Pseudo Reality TV Show

Secondly, every famous Hollywood Socialite needs their own personal reality TV show so the world can keep tabs on their every kiss, hug and argument. Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are the perfect example of what great celebrity can come out of a poorly made reality TV documentary. After their famous foray into pseudo-real television:The Simple Life, the two girls became instant celebrities, and staples of rumor magazines, with Paris even inspiring a blog ironically named after herself (PerezHilton.com). Their ignorance to the life of the every day American seemed to enthrall the everyday Fox television watcher.

"The Simple Life" co-stars, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie

1) Get Money

Gloria Vanderbilt with her son, Anderson Cooper

Perhaps the most foolproof way to assure you can become a socialite celebrity is to find your way into a lot of money. Gloria Vanderbilt was born into a fortune, and Jackie O. married a Greek billionaire. Whether by inheritance or by gold digging, a proper socialite must have access to seemingly unlimited funds to support their fashion purchases and DUI lawyers on retainer.

There you have it folks, three easy steps to becoming a great American Socialite without having to learn a single talent: one, get money, two, make sex tape, and three, star in a reality TV Show.

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