Ah, summer television…the homely cousin to the fall lineup. It’s similar to getting the last dibs in candy after the piñata has been busted open. What’s left?! Oh this great Tootsie Roll…
Iffy pilots and reality shows are a plenty, and seemingly arbitrary plots are the norm. We all know groundbreaking TV isn’t expected to occur in the summer, but it’s television nonetheless! Here’s what to look forward to:
(And no, “Keeping Up With the Kardashians is not on this list)
“Motive” May 23rd
Another cop show! Yes, really, another cop show.
“Whose Line is it Anyway?” July 16th
I know this is hovering in the area of “this sounds like a show my parents watch, therefore this sounds like a show I’ll never watch” territory, and to be honest with you, your parents probably did watch it. This improv themed show is a revamp of the American version that aired in the early 2000′s. This time around, Aisha Tyler is the host, in addition to the return of originals like Ryan Stiles and Wayne Brady. Oh gosh, Wayne Brady.
“Family Tree” May 12th
Remember the really cutesy cop from Bridesmaids? Well he has a name, Chris O’Dowd, and he now has his own show on HBO! He plays a middle-aged guy experiencing the vicissitudes of life, and attempts to find some purpose by learning about his heritage. I mean, he’s no Kit Harrington or Richard Madden, HBO’s golden boys, but personality > looks, riiiiight?
Honorable Mentions: “Camp”, July 10th, “Ray Donovan”, June 30th.
“Pretty Little Liars” June 11th
This show isn’t over yet…
“True Blood” June 16th
Humans v. Vampires! Yes. Twilight! Wait, no. Lots of blood? Yes! Still no Taylor Lautner abs, though.
“Arrested Development” May 26th
DUH. THE MOST IMPORTANT SHOW ON THIS LIST. All fifteen episodes will air at once on Netflix. Meaning, BLUTH BINGE.
P.S. George Michael Bluth > Baby Kimye
Honorable Mentions: “Major Crimes”, June 10, “The Newsroom”, July 14.
“The Big Brain Theory”
This premiered earlier this week, with host, Kal Penn (formally known as Kumar) leading a group of engineers in problem solving challenges. Think, “Project Runway” for people that know what a solenoid is. Snooki, where you at?
“Newlyweds: The First Year” May 6th
The title is rather self-explanatory. And we’ve seen the “let’s document the struggles of the first year of marriage” before. At first glance, some of the couples’ names, Alaska and Tarz, sound more interesting than the show.
“Breaking Amish: Brave New World” May 12th
Our favorite rule breakers are making their way from New York to South Beach. I am anticipating many uncomfortable facial expressions due to all the booties in bikinis, courtesy of Rebecca and Abe.
Honorable Mentions: “Real Housewives of New Jersey”, June 2nd. “So You Think You Can Dance” May 14th.
“72 Hours” June 6th
People get dropped in the middle of nowhere with water and a GPS. The task: find a briefcase of $100,000. I’d rather make a rap to the “Meow Mix” jingle, thanks.
“Princesses: Long Island”, June 2nd
Super rich college-educated girls from Long Island living at home. The potential amount of substance in this show is just staggering.
“Dexter” June 30th and “Breaking Bad” August 11th
Will things FINALLY hit the fan? Walt and Dexter are like the Justin Biebers of meth and death; untouchable.
Here’s a complete list of all the summer shows airing this season.
In all honesty, all you really need to do is watch “Arrested Development”.ABC, arrested development, breaking bad, comedy, Dexter, drama, HBO, Pretty Little Liars, summer, television, TLC, True Blood