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May 04, 2011  | by: Kerri O'Malley

Come Here Kiddies, Daddy Wants a Hug!

Surprise, surprise: It seems the Prince of Darkness didn’t make a dependable daddy.  A new documentary about the king of metal, called God Bless Ozzy Osbourne, recently opened at the Tribeca Film Festival, and focuses on Ozzy’s long love affair with drugs, drinking, and incoherency.

Produced by his youngest son, Jack, the new documentary (kind of obviously) reveals that Ozzy was stoned and drunk for the majority of The Osbournes and includes interviews with the children from his previous marriage, who come off as properly mad that their mascara-wearing dad didn’t tuck them in at night.

There’s even a particularly terrible part where Ozzy demonstrates that he doesn’t even know his eldest daughter’s birthday.  No, wait…birth year.  Ouch!  Then again, Ozzy’s reaction to math pretty much matches my own visceral response, drunk or not.

Check it the family bits of the new doc below (and do keep in mind that “pissed” is British for “drunk”):

Rolling Stone‘s article on the film (the same one that reveals that Tommy Lee thinks painting with poop is “next level shit”) even recalls an incident where Ozzy attempted to strangle Sharon after drinking four bottles of vodka, and can’t remember it to this day.

“When you’re on the bottle, you don’t realize you’re as bad as you are,” Osbourne tells Rolling Stone. “We’ve all done something that makes us say, ‘Did I do that?’ I have all these old photographs of me in the Eighties, Nineties, and I can’t remember taking them. I sometimes wonder, ‘Is that really me? What the fuck was I smoking at the time?’”

Ozzy, a lot of us want to know the answer to that question.  But it seems like you’ll never remember!

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