Okay, listen up all you celebrity fans out there. Your voices need to be heard! Those celebs you love need to feel the love from you! Really feel it, you know what I’m saying? When you’re at one of his or her concerts or in the audience for one of his or her public appearances and you scream, “I LOVE YOU SO-AND-SOOOO!” do you think he or she actually hears you? That he or she can single you out and realize you’re their number one fan? No way! You’re just one in a million, baby, screaming the same thing as everyone else. You’ve gotta step up your game! You’ve gotta prove you’re devoted to them. Otherwise, what’s the point of living, really? A celebrity is everything.
Now, if you’re not able to get up close and personal with your fave celeb during one of his or her concerts or public appearances, and, let’s be real, you’re probably not going to be able to, you’ve got to reach your fave celeb directly. I’m talking fan mail, folks. Letters of luuuurrvveee. Just think about it. You can write whatever you want, sign your name, and can even send along a gift if you’d like. I highly recommend buying your favorite celebrity something because money buys love, and we all know celebs can’t ever afford anything for themselves. This is where you can showcase your creativity. Really think outside the box, ya know?
At the same time, living life as a devoted fan doesn’t pay much, unfortunately. If you don’t have the money to buy your true celebrity love anything nice…I recommend spending no less than $5,000 on them…then you’re going to have to express your love in another way. You can certainly make him or her a gift, but please, no cards or hand-drawn pictures or any of that crap. That stuff goes right in the trash the minute the celeb opens up your package. What are they going to do with pictures and cards? Probably gag themselves because they’ll hate them so much. Anyone can draw a crappy picture or write a sappy card. You need to be better than that!
Take this one fan…ugh, this fan gives me goosebumps, he/she is so brilliant! Totally outside the box, this one. It was a fan of Jared Leto‘s…you know, the actor and lead singer for the band 30 Seconds To Mars?
This fan went above and beyond to show his or her love for Jared. Now, I’m saying “his or her” because this fan never revealed his or her gender. Mystery is good, my friends. It makes the celeb want to know more about you. Trust me on this. Anyway, I’m going to call this fan Van Gogh. Like the famous artist, this fan is an inspiration to us all. In an interview with XFM recently, Jared explained what his number one fan did for him:
“Someone cut their ear off once and sent it to me, that was very strange. A whole ear. The Van Gogh move. The note just said, ‘Are you listening?’ I never knew who it was, who’s missing their ear out there.”
Can you believe it?! Van Gogh (the fan not the artist) cut off a part of him or herself to show their love for Jared. And Van Gogh made sure Jared heard this love loud and clear. And the “Are you listening?” line? Shear genius! Excellent touch! Hilarious. It kept the situation light, you know? Sending someone your ear could easily be seen as a really dark, disgusting thing, but this fan totally made it a playful gift by including that hysterical and super clever comment!
And Jared totally loved it! But honestly, who wouldn’t? He told XFM that he “poked a hole in it and wore it as a necklace.” He was only kidding, of course. No one on earth would wear a severed human ear as a necklace. I mean, c’mon…it’d be much better as a bracelet.
This is how it’s done, my fellow fans. You’ve got to go above and beyond to show your love for your favorite celeb. This fan, Van Gogh, literally gave Jared a piece of him or herself. Now that’s love right there. And Jared noticed! He heard that fan’s love loud and clear. No doubt…having that extra ear really helped him hear it.
Let’s brainstorm! What would you send your favorite celeb?Tags: 30 Seconds to Mars, celebrity, fan mail, Jared Leto, severed ear, Vincent van Gogh, XFM