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May 24, 2013  | by: Kelly Hanelt
Twitter (@noaya83)

Twitter (@noaya83)

 

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling eighty-twooo

Wait, those aren’t the lyrics? They should be. Let’s face it, with the pop music scene being what it is (slutty and undignified), Taylor Swift just doesn’t belong. She is an artifact of days when women were dutiful housewives, men said things like “gee whiz” and weren’t total perverts, and romance hadn’t been assassinated yet.To prove this theory, the Huffington Post released 13 reasons why Taylor Swift is just like your grandma. But why stop at 13? Here are 5 more pieces of irrefutable evidence Taylor Swift is secretly a grandma.

Reason #1: This bathing suit. Last seen on Rachel McAdams in 1940s throwback “The Notebook.” Last seen before that 80 years ago, when it was actually in style.

Flickr (TeaCrumpets21)

Flickr (TeaCrumpets21)

 

Reason #2: She eats off of china that looks like it was found in the dusty corners of your grandma’s cupboard. Want to know what china is to real 23-year-olds? A country. We eat with fast food silverware, paper plates and red solo cups. Get with it, Taylor!

Twitter (@TaylorSwift13)

Twitter (@TaylorSwift13)

 

Reason #3: She (demonstrably) enjoys fishing. No one under the age of 98 enjoys fishing. No one.

Twitter (@Wonderstruck_Im)

Twitter (@Wonderstruck_Im)

 

Reason #4: She’s a total. cat. lady.

Twitter (@TaylorSwift13)

Twitter (@TaylorSwift13)

 

Twitter (@TaylorSwift13)

Twitter (@TaylorSwift13)

 

No, but I mean it, such a freaking cat lady…

Reason #5: They’ll both probably be happily retired in the next 2 years. Say what you want about Taylor Swift and her cat lady ways, but she’ll always have the last laugh as she cashes in her millions and moves away to Monaco at the age of 25.

How old do you think Taylor Swift’s soul is?

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