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April 04, 2013  | by: Kelly Hanelt
Twitter (@azure4rain)

We’ll miss those abs.
Twitter (@azure4rain)



Just when Cory Monteith’s self-admittance into rehab threatened to breach the already-fragile boundary between reality and “Glee”ality, Heather Morris (AKA: Brittany… bitch) revealed to the world that her eggo is preggo. In other news, in some dark corner in West Hollywood Ryan Murphy is furiously downing crack espresso and re-writing the season finale script. Rehab? Pregnancy? That was the season five plot! 

Such brings up the topic that fans are either obsessively over-analyzing, or avoiding completely in fear of discovering an answer they can’t handle … what does this mean for “Glee”?

In two words – nothing good. “Glee” has already lost a fair amount of its legion of fans to overly preachy plot lines/ its overwhelming tendency to play out more like a public service announcement that features Cher and is on HGN at 4:00 in the morning than an actual primetime Emmy-nominated program. They’ve played the pregnancy card before (multiple times), so it’ll take nothing less than a stroke of genius from Ryan Murphy & Co. to play off Heather Morris’s maternity without becoming trite… or just plain stupid.

Luckily for them, I, shameless TV addict and know-it-all, am here to help brainstorm ways to salvage “Glee” from its own shipwreck like Rose from the Titanic.

Suggestion #1) Brittany becomes a surrogate for her sister/ a teacher at the school/ a total rando. Far-fetched that someone would elect a teenager to carry their child? Yes. But no more so than having someone drop out of the army because they shot themselves in the foot, or a cheerleading coach being able to afford state-of-the-art equipment to help a paraplegic walk (which then broke like… 2 episodes later.) Also, this is the kind of situation Brittany would get herself into by confusing the word “surrogate” for something like “surfing kit.” Bonus – “Glee” has not yet preached to America about respecting people who need surrogates and can’t get pregnant.

Suggestion #2) Flashback/ body swap episode. They can pass off HeMo’s pregnancy by making her stand behind things or wear very large sweaters for a couple of months. Then, when she is so preggo that they just can’t hide it anymore, there’s an episode where someone eats a bad piece of sushi or drinks too much red bull and then passes out, prompting a flashback sequence to season one where everyone has switched bodies. Brittany would be super pregnant Quinn, obvi. Maybe we could even get a sequel to this brilliant number.


Suggestion #3) Juno themed episode. This may be entirely selfish on my part because it is one of my favorite movies, but, seriously speaking, it would give “Glee” the opportunity to feature some indie music instead of its traditional top 40. Brittany could get very into theme and dress up like the teen mother… and let’s face it, who wouldn’t love to see her A) wearing orange and white stripes and a plaid mini skirt, and B) yelling shit like “Silencio, old man!” and “Shenanigans” all episode?

Suggestion #4) “Glee” pulls a “One Tree Hill” and fast-forwards a couple years in the future. Let’s face it, high school is getting mighty boring for these kids, what with all over-the-top life experiences they’ve been having in the hallway between math and chemistry. It’d be interesting to see, if only for an episode, where the “Glee” kids would be in a few years. Brittany could plausibly be pregnant then, and I have no doubt they’d extricate some delightfully random guest star celeb to cameo as the father (I’d go for Verne Troyer.)

But let’s face it, Brit-Brit will probably be written off for a couple of episodes to go to cheerleading camp or Harvard or something, or just have a mini-Sam on the way. This would open things up for the backdoor pilot of “Glee: The Second Generation.” It’s all becoming clear to me now…

Twitter (@iamgleekk)

Twitter (@iamgleekk)


Where do you think “Glee” will go with Heather Morris’s pregnancy?

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