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January 20, 2012 | by: Addie Stuber

The birth of Jay-Z and Beyonce’s baby girl created a tizzy not seen since Brangelina decided to nix adoption for procreation. Now that public outcries regarding hospital accomodations and privacy breaches have reached a close, Jay-Z and Beyonce are settling into parenthood right quick. Beyonce has even made time for an interview.

In a conversation with UK’s Star Magazine, she claims that “words can’t be found” to describe holding Blue Ivy for the first time. Beyonce also gives credit to Jay-Z, assuring us that he is resigned to being a hands-on father.

“Of course he will be changing diapers,” Beyonce says. “He has already stated publicly that providing isn’t love – love is being there. Love is doing little things for your child.”

While the sentiment is heart-warming, Beyonce must be aware of Jay-Z’s ability to express love and care for Blue Ivy in ways not available to the average Daddy. Otherwise, there would be no need to mention the diaper changing – it would be assumed that the butt-wiping duties would be shared.

Beyonce’s Lenox Hill delivery suite

The saga of Blue Ivy’s embellished existence is already evident. Blue’s got a spot on the Billboard charts for “Glory,” a song crafted by Jay-Z which features five seconds of her cooing. TMZ recently managed to obtain photos of Beyonce’s Lenox Hill delivery suite as well. The space looks as if it was ripped from a five star hotel and planted as an auspicious add-on to a steril medical facility.

My imagination spares no expense when it comes to other areas of Blue Ivy’s development…

Blue Ivy, day one: Nurses drape chains around her flimsy neck and dust gold fillament on her clammy skin the moment she exits the womb.

Blue Ivy, one year: Sore gums from teething. Given a Grammy award chilled on ice to gnaw on.

Blue Ivy, eight years: Training wheels taken off of bike, replaced by two bouncers who suspend back tire midair as she peddles down the sidewalk.

Blue Ivy, thirteen years: Grounded for selling her Mother’s discarded hair weave on eBay.

Though Blue Ivy is guaranteed not to be ordinary, she may ultimately reflect a common, overarching theme: a parent’s desire to give their children what they never had. Thus far, Jay-Z is bent on providing Blue Ivy with opposite of his previous hard-knock life.

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