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March 28, 2013  | by: Jara Montez
(Instagram)

(Instagram)

 

 

And the plot thickens….I’m going to chalk this up as the most bizarre, but possibly most damaging, of Justin Bieber’s recent string of not-so-innocent events. And no, I’m not talking about walking shirtless through airport security in Poland (funny, Justin. Funny), I’m talking about allegations of battery…on Bieber’s part.


Somehow, possibly due to his bountiful arsenal of swag, Bieber was able to make a pit stop to his abode in Calabassas, California, despite the fact that he’s currently on a world tour.
So he comes home, and is immediately greeted with a neighbor’s all-up-in-his-face sandwich.

Here’s two reported reasons for what went down:
Apparently, while Bieber was internationally crooning the ladies, his peeps have been using his crib for parties. His neighbor was obviously irritated that the “Beauty and A Beat” video was happening across the street.

For Heaven’s sake! I can’t hear anything Glenn Beck is saying!

Instagram

Instagram

 

The other side of the story is that Bieber was recklessly driving his Ferrari up and down the street, causing excessive amounts of noise and subsequent shrieks from all the Stepford mommies.

Close your eyes, little Tommy. That boy is going to hell in a hand basket.

Either way, his neighbor decided to  initiate a conversation Tuesday morning which eventually turned into a scream war, some apparent physical contact and threats from Justin, and then the ultimate zinger, a battery report.

Where do I begin?
1. There is absolutely no way  anyone is going to try and start an argument with me at 9 o’clock in the morning. The birds aren’t even chirping yet, and you want me to wake up and engage in a verbal tit for tat with you? I’m closing the curtains on that one. Sorry no can do.

2.  According to TMZ and the neighbor, this is exactly how it all went developed:

Neighbor: You can’t drive like this!

Justin: Get the f**k out of here. **Spits in neighbor’s face** I’m gonna f*****g kill you.

Merlin’s beard, that is one super fast escalation of dialogue right there! I’m having difficulty imagining all of this, because the neighbor is essentially saying Bieber morphed into the Hulk within a span of two seconds. For various reasons, the most important being he is way too skinny to do that, I cannot believe this is how the conversation truly played out.

3. Maybe it’s just me, but if these neighbors were smart, they would completely milk the fact that the biggest pop star is on their block. “Even though my kids are out causing havoc somewhere else just like you, I’m only going to confront you because my children are angels and you, you sir are everything wrong with society. You and those Kardashians up the road.  But, I’ll allow it if you give my girls VIP passes and front row seats! ” That’d be the way to go. Win win for everyone.

 

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