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June 08, 2013  | by: Jara Montez



Heavens to Murgatroyd. Yeah, strap on that purple astronaut suit, because Bieber is on his way to space. That’s right, mortal muggles! Civilian expeditions into space is now a thing. I use the term “civilian” loosely since the only to people to sign up for this journey into the unknown have been the like of Leonardo DiCaprio, Angelina Jolie, and now JB. Certainly not proletariat-level beings.

How is this working? Good question, because as bizarre as this sounds, April Fool’s Day was two months ago, therefore this is definitely real. Sir Richard Branson, the mega-super- über billionaire boss behind Virgin (and all of its entities) tweeted that Bieber and his manager, Scooter Braun signed up for the field trip on Virgin Galactic. Ooooooohhh! Sounds so space age!

These trips are called “suborbital spaceflights” meaning they’re not going to Mars, but rather a 2 1/2 hour trip that’ll take them above earth, and they’ll be able to experience zero gravity. Well, ok, Bieber already does that in his concerts, so yawn. The real prize is just sitting next to DiCaprio…





Thinking of traveling over yonder? Well sure! $250,000 please! No, no, don’t save that money for a college education. YOLOOOOOO.

Doesn’t this sound perfect? A-List celebs participating in a mini Bieber concert for the all the little martians out there. Dressed to perfection (please leave the gas mask at home…). Cuz alllllll I need is a spaceship and a view…and suit so I can breaaaathe.


What this is, is yet another distinction between the have and have-nots. An exclusive play date with the universe, where only the wealthy are able to participate. Wouldn’t it be dashing to casually spend a quarter of a million dollars without a qualm in sight? Maybe when this trickles down to the masses, we’ll all be able to hitch a ride. But for now, we’re stuck with stock photos on NASA’s website (which by the way are STELLAR).

Well, I guess on the positive side, there won’t be any Beliebers up there. HAHA. NO. They’ll find a way.

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