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March 30, 2013  | by: Kelly Hanelt
Twitter (@GossipBlitz)

Twitter (@GossipBlitz)


Oh hey girl… or guy,

Baby Kimye – now that your mother has taken to a nationally televised late night program to let us all know that you, in fact, will not be named North (let out collective sigh for restored faith in humanity here), but will potentially be named Easton, (which I think is awesome because that’s the name of my hometown) we, the ever gossip-hungry pop culture mongrels that we are, have just one last bone to pick with you before you arrived swathed in a Gucci leather blanket. It’s a little tricky, but I think I can sum it up in one question here ….

what in the bloodiest of hells are you wearing?


There was that awkward time that we weren’t sure which side of your mother was pregnant/ whether or not to call Sea World and let them know their whale had escaped…

Twitter (@GeorgiaRosee)

Twitter (@GeorgiaRosee)


Then there was that time you looked like a missing tea cup from one of Lady Gaga’s music videos…

Twitter (@CircleFashionCF)

Twitter (@CircleFashionCF)


Or that awful time you were paraded around with the same haircut as Rachel Berry…


Twitter (@EnglishKardash)

Twitter (@EnglishKardash)


Normal pregnant women crave froyo or pickles, but Kim K? She clearly had an insatiable desire for attention.

Many people will applaud Kimmy for still wearing heels, or not giving up on style when she’d just rather be in sweats. All of this is very true. In the spectrum of dedication to being pre-natally pampered, Kim Kardashian komes out on top.

However, being dressed up and being dressed well are not the same. I can wear Chopard diamonds… but paired with neon spandex and toe socks and I’ll still look like an imbecile. Similarly, Kim Kardahian can wear all the Louboutins, pencil skirts, and pretentiously neutral tones she wants, but she still looks like she’s trying too hard.

Pregnancy should be a peaceful time in one’s life, not when you try out your latest 50 Shades of Kinky leatherware, you know?

I’m sure your gestational couture is just the beginning of a lifelong legacy of sartorial absurdity. Can’t wait to see what you come up with next, baby Kimye.

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